Okay. I admit it. I’m lost today. Sleep did not come to me very easily last night. I’ve been up since 3:00 a.m. trying to figure out just where I am, where I want to go, and how I can get there.
Is it Just Me? Oh, My Gosh! It Was!
The problem comes in that I’m trying to learn to do so many things that I find I’m not doing any of them as well as I like. Yep, I’m a type A–gold sealed in fact. I have the badge to prove it.
Right now, I’d like to crawl in a hole. What I need to do is go out into the yard and begin to pull those dreaded weeds that have taken up residence over night. Yes, I know we needed the rain. I’m not one to complain about rain. It’s just the overcast clouds are adding to my doom and gloom!
“Where’s my wine when I’m whining?” I call out in frustration.
“It’s 9:30 in the morning. Your going to drink now?” Myself asked.
“Yes. If I could get away with it. But, in my heart, I know it wouldn’t help. What I need is music.”
“What kind of music?” Me turns on the stereo.
“Pandora. Or Sirius Spectrum. How about some The Head & The Heart or Coldplay or First Aid Kit?”
Where does one begin to figure out if the last 365 Days were what we wanted? More importantly, how on Earth do we decide what we want for the next 365 Days without forgetting something important.
It reminds me of the cliché of the girl who wants to be the beauty queen and she answers the interview question with “I want peace and love for everyone.”
Well, I want peace and love for everyone, too. But, I also want–
Need I say more?
I want my books that I published in 2014 to be read by people in 2015.
I want my next book to come out, The Fire of Revenge, to rock the socks off readers everywhere.
I want to be loved.
I want peace of mind.
I want…I want…I want…
But, what am I willing to do for it?
Now. There’s the question.
What are you willing to do for what you want in 2015?
The Next 365 Days
My next book, The Fire of Revenge, must involve evil and suffering. Why?
Well, because it wouldn’t be very revengeful, if it didn’t.
Writing about suffering and evil people is NOT easy.
Have you tried it?
The cartoon of the Taming of the Shrew (see above) shows Catherine II, faint and shying away from William Pitt, who appears as Petruchio, and Don Quixote on horseback (a lean and scarred George III whose authority has been usurped by Pitt). Seated behind Pitt are the King of Prussia and a figure representing Holland as Sancho Panza. Selim III kneels to kiss the horse’s tail; a gaunt figure representing the old order in France while Leopold II renders help to Catherine by preventing her from falling to the ground.
Back in its day, it was considered an unpleasant depiction of despicable people.
Even after looking at horrid pictures (like the cartoon), watching terrible news broadcasts, and having the flu the last two weeks of 2014, I still find it hard to think evil or to conjure up images of suffering. Trust me. An image of me vomiting my guts out would not be pretty.
Despite all the horrible news we seem to always see plastered everywhere, commercials that ever more seem to be full of the horrors of life, I can still find happiness. I guess it is the Pollyanna in me. Yes, another cliché.
I want light and cheery.
I want sun shine and lollipops.
But, I’m supposed to be seeing evil! Ugh!
Everything I read speaks about the need to avoid the squeaky, clean life of Beaver Cleaver or Doris Day.
Gees, McGees! Why?
Because they say it’s not entertaining enough. It’s not sad enough. It’s not grab you by the balls enough.
But, it is HARD to write! (Think of Snoopy and Woodstock sitting on top of Snoopy’s dog house screaming).
Yes, it is gut wrenching hard to write. I totally understand what the masters like Stephen King or J A Konrath mean.
Writing about suffering and evil changes my happiness quotient–I have to look inside myself and I don’t always like what I see.
Now what do I do?
How do I go on?
Must I keep on suffering?
Ah, the games a foot.
I must consider my wants!
What are your wants for 2015?
There you have it. My “new” resolution for 2015. I need to learn how to write horrible, suffering involving evil people.
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