The senselessness – will it make a difference?
Ugh! I haven’t posted on my blog in a while. I try so hard to get a consistent transition going. What happens? Life!
Currently, I’m working on the development of two different writing projects as well as devoting my time to finalizing the release of book three. That’s my writing work.
Then, I have those fall/winter chores that make me whole — putting the garden to bed for the winter — flower and vegetable. My flower garden isn’t as detailed or complete with a variety of flowers like a friend of mine I refer to as my “Sis.” She has such a lovely garden, even in the heat of summer, it is gorgeous. She also works on it. My flower garden happens. I’ve learned to cultivate weeds. Some of my most prized weeds are in full bloom even now. Some of my weeds are even pretty. One day I’ll show a picture.
The vegetable garden is another one of those projects that grew and grew and grew. Now, with my old back not liking me bending and pulling weeds, I find the vegetable garden has the occasional food to eat, but the weeds have taken over in places there, too. The veggie garden going to bed for winter is probably a good thing. It will give me time to figure out what I want to do with it.
Sadly, my personal life has been traumatized these last few months by the death of very close friends and family. It is that time of year when things die. It seems death has been around my family too regularly since July.
July 6, 2015 – the passing of our grand-dog, Miloh, whom I miss talking with each day.
October 29, 2015 – the passing of a wonderful cousin and friend, Raymond.
November 12, 2015 – the passing of a friend, George, who was one of a kind.
The passing of these souls have each touched my heart in special ways. Each brought to my life a certain kind of joy that is not easily put into words. I have struggled since July to express my feelings. There seems to be no words.
Then, yesterday, the senseless loss of life in Paris, France. I’m not sure I know how to express myself as I try not to be angry. Then, I wonder if I should let my anger go. I keep thinking of the phrase repeated by Rudolf Abel (played by Mark Rylance) in the new movie “Bridge of Spies.”
Abel says to Donovan (played by Tom Hanks) on several occasions during the movie, “Will it make a difference?”
Words to live by.
I wonder. Will it?
And, then…the circle of life seemed to rare its head up and remind me. Yes, it might!
About the same time on Thursday morning when we were loosing our friend George, we had a miracle happen within our family. For the first time in 30 years, the Newberry family had a new baby born to our clan, Miss Elizabeth. It was a miracle in that she was not supposed to arrive until Friday. We were being given a light to shine on a gloomy period for us. She is a blessing. I look forward to meeting her and holding her in my arms.
So, I’ve managed to quail my anger. My heart is broken over the loss of our family and friends, and it is in deep sorrow over the loss in France of those souls I never knew. But, I’m resolute. I’ve made the decision to do what I need to do to bring joy to those around me. One way to do that is to be happy myself.
The funny thing about me, I’m happy when I’m writing. So, I stopped procrastinating, and I got down to it. Hence, this post today.
I dedicate this post to Miloh, Raymond, and George, and to those souls lost in the senselessness of last evening. I will work to do what I dream.
I will make a difference!
Write On!
Pam
The “Will it Make a Difference?” post first appeared on Pam’s Blog November 14, 2015.